While working on my paper about human rights, globalization and global governance I realise deeply how relative everything is. In the current academic circles it is not always easy to introduce an evolutionaiy (and often revolutionary) vision upon the developments on our planet. All around me I see a lot of people doing a lot of good things in order to create and develop a beautiful future for humankind and Gaia. At the same time during college's I am almost overrun with all the problems that we face in the world today. And even though these "problems" are to some extent actually there I understand now that it is much more fruitfull to look at them from a different perspective. If we would change the word problem into challenge or opportunity we would have a far better point of departure towards the confrontation with these issues. If we can take in another perspective and look at these issues in another way everything can change. I know now that it is not easy to shift our view because we will also have to make a shift in the way we view ourselves. I believe this to be the biggest challange but at the same time the most precious key. We can truly change the world be changing ourselves and by putting the focus on our Self. A little more than one and a half year ago I went through this process and it truly did change everything. I hope and pray that everyone will come to the conclusion that being the change is truly the only way to real change.

What I am really busy with right now is translating this vision of a righteous, beautiful and sustainable future into everything that I do in the academic world. The idea of an academic world of course falsely suggests that this is some other kind of world. Even though it may sometimes feel like it this is clearly not the case. It is however a great challenge to translate as much as possible of my vision within the framework and boundaries of the academic world. Once I take a step back and look at science and religion (in the broadest sense including mysticism, spirituality and transcendence) it is fairly easy to see that the two are getting closer to eachother. People that are working on or beyond the leading edge of this development often know how to express this development in a clear way. Even though I can absolutely feel how right and meaningful their arguments are it is still different once I am myself confronted with a paper to be written. Right now I can feel the tension that is released because I don't really know how to share my views in such a way that they will be accepted within the academic environment that I find myself in.

To be at such a point is absolutely the biggest challange that is possible. Therefore this point is also a great opportunity to learn, grow and overcome old habits. Once I can look at it from this perspective I can see that a door is opening for me and that I am being invited to step through it into the unknown. When I can react to these challanges from the rest and inner conviction that are always somewhere inside me than I can enable myself to make a step in development. Even though it feels as if I am balancing on the tip of a rock, I am still aware that I can trust on the knowing inside of me.

Peace, Light and Love to All

Marijn

What a confusing world do we find ourselves in when we are born on planet earth. I come into this life in 1980 in a little village in the Netherlands. Growing up there was fine and I would only get into conflict with the world and myself when I got to grade four of high school. Around the age of 15 there wants to develop a type of awareness that is conscious of the self and the world around it. When this development is somehow hindered there is usually a fight or flight reaction from the self being incapable of handling the situation. I think most people can recognize certain movements when looking back at their childhood. Once one departs on the journey of consciousness these moments will have to become clear again in order to understand what happened at that young age. I was already fifteen, but ofcourse some people go through disturbing or even traumatic experiences when are only a few years old. According to the outstanding work of Stanislav Grof such circumstances can even take place during the prenatal (between fertilization and childbirth) period of the being. I once heard someone say that birth is so much more of a shock for the soul than death. I had never really thought about this, but it immediately occured to me that this is a very reasonable idea. Ofcourse certain types of death are very unpleasant and painful, but I indeed believe that the transition will be much easier and lighter in general.

Looking back at this fight or flight moment that anyone encounters sooner or later it is clear that some kind of contraction will have to take place at that time. Looking at myself again I can clearly see now that I imploded in order not to show the pain that I experienced. And at that moment I could not have shown these things because I simply was not aware of what was happening. The contraction however would join me on my trip through life and influence practically everything that I would experience. This feeling of contraction triggered in me a very loud NO against authorities (parents, school, law and other institutions) and this resistance became a theme in the play that I was in. What is actually most confusing about such a mask is that there are always certain truths in it, whilst at the same time there is this very limiting contraction. Once we embark on the beautiful path of conscious evolution we will have to get clear about the light and the dark sides that are inside and outside of us. In order to gain this clarity I had to unravel the thruths and the lies that were both present in my former rejection of  most of the world. I believe that we can truly heal ourselves when we accept all the seemingly weird attitudes and opinions that we once cherished for our own safety and protection. Yogi Bhajan used to say "Love what is ahead by loving waht has come before". This may sound very simple but I still find myself struggling sometimes to truly embrace everything that I am in order to completely be in the here and now.

I believe it is only by this absolute and al-embracing acceptance that we can really start living in the here and now. Sometimes it can be really hard to accept ourselves fully and to just be with the feelings of love, connectedness, gratitude and wholeness that I believe are our absolute birthright. Someone once said that we have to reject the truth first before we can truly accept it. I don't even know whether this rings true for everyone, but I have certainly experienced it in this way. Furthermore I believe that a lot of people have this kind of experience and the wonderful thing about it is that we can really feel reborn once we leave our masks behind and embrace life in all its beauty and glory. I am thankful every now for being able to share what I feel and think in a conscious and loving way. Ofcourse sometimes it is still a struggle or even a fight, but the light is getting clearer and clearer. This week I overheard some people in the swimming pool talking about God, Jesus and faith and I joined their conversation. The amazing thing was that we could connect so easy and naturally that it felt as if we already knew eachother. I experienced that when we can speak from heart to heart there is an acceptance (and actually an embrace) of the other which makes it so natural and enlightening to communicate with eachother. I believe that certain experiences are very valuable and that they can truly change the way we behave and feel towards others. Since once I have thought the complete opposite I am deeply and completely convinced that this capacity for enlightened communication is lying dormant in each and every individual. And I believe that through these conversations (and all these inspiring writings here at Gaia and elsewhere) we can contribute to the development of this great potential that lies in every human being. I sincerely believe that we can create a conscious and enlightened future together in this way.

Peace, Light and Love to All!

Marijn