Nearly fifteen years ago my tutor Dutch gave my class the assignment to write an essay with the same title as this writing. This task came out of the blue and we had to write it right away. At that time I was an ignorant, obnoxious and even rebellious teenager, interested in almost anything but school. So my friends and I laughed at this silly assignment and ridiculed this teacher for inventing such a useless waste of our time. At that time I could never have imagined how intriguing and meaningful this question would one day become to me.

Nowadays I have come to realize that this very question is one of the most profound and impressive ways to indicate the absolute mystery of our existence. These three little words have been at the center of the quest for meaning that, through the ages of humankind, has inspired countless individuals. The renowned and truly realized Indian saint Ramana Maharshi even asserted that contemplation on this question can lead the individual towards liberation. Ultimately this question is of course one of identity. Looking back into the history of mankind we see that human beings have always been addressing this question as soon as they had the opportunity to do so. Whether we look at the earliest traces of humankind in the field of clothing, relations, art, leadership, ceremony or ritual the aspect of identity always plays a certain role. Looking at our modern society it quickly becomes evident that identity has often acquired an obsessive and at the same time superficial and ignorant role. On the personal level this clearly shows itself when we look at teenagers and youngsters obsessed with (their connection with) outer appearances, videogames, technological gadgets and anything that has to do with their image. On a group level we witness this same phenomenon looking at the countless subcultures that are so important for people’s identities that they easily forget that we inhibit this planet as one human family.  On (professional) corporate and academic level this situation is not very different. That companies are deeply obsessed with image(s) quickly becomes apparent when one takes a look at the size of the advertising budgets. The academic world last but not least is truly disappointing in the way it conducts its research. Researchers seldom know from each other what they are researching and are in practice competing and battling for the prestige of their own university or center while all are funded with large research budgets. In these examples it is clear that all parties are maintaining, and even struggling for, a separate identity which provides them with a sense of identity. All of this is not so very strange at first sight because our highly pluralistic postmodern society with its huge diversity and seemingly endless possibilities seems to demand for such a position. In order to realize our inherent oneness and interdepence as a species however, we will have to look beyond these boundaries. We all are part of the same human family. This part of us is such an inherent and valuable piece of our identity that it by far eclipses any other elements of our identity construction.

This deeply profound and absolutely overwhelming experience of Oneness is without a doubt the most important part of my identity. At the same time of course this identity is not ‘mine’ in any way, but rather the knowing from experience that ‘We are One’ has become a part of my entire being. At the same time now I still exist as a (seemingly) separate entity with all my doubts, hopes, fears and dreams. I still have my unique life-experience but I am at peace with the greater knowing that I am a part of something larger. In a way my identity now consists of this absolute Oneness on the one hand and of my humble, but unique place in this Oneness on the other hand. Looking back again at this moment nearly fifteen years ago now when I was still a raging teenager the shift in awareness has been enormous. Back then my separate and unique feeling actually defined my identity as a teenager. This uniqueness has not gone away but has rather been redefined and has simply gotten another place. Another thing that I can vividly remember from my younger years is that my identity was very fixed and steady. Or at least I liked to believe that it was. Nowadays my sense of self is actually much steadier even though it is at the same time constantly changing as a result of the various experiences in my life. The question of who I am is also being addressed differently now because I know that I am constantly in motion. Often now it works the other way around. In the silence and Oneness of my being I realize that my being is one of pure potentiality. Quantum physics describes this in an inspiring way by pointing to the fact that we are clusters of energy constantly in connection and exchange with our environment. I believe that the degree in which we are conscious of this connection and continuous exchange is an important indication for the level of our awareness. A seeming similarity with the consciousness of my younger years seems to be that I often define myself by realizing what I am not. Nowadays I often learn through experience what I do not want to identify with. This learning process makes me choose differently a next time. In my youth I also used this method and I can clearly remember a lot of things that I would really never want to identify with back then. The huge difference however is that I used to separate myself from that which I did not want to identify with. Somehow the emphasis lay on the negative side and looking back now I can see that I was simply not able to embrace all these parts of a larger reality. We all belong to this larger reality however and I do not believe that anyone or anything could or should not belong to it. This makes it even more important of course to make choices and clear distinctions. But at the same time it is absolutely possible to realize that we are all One. And even though it might be impossible to describe in words what it means that we really are One it does mean for me that we can love One another as One. If we can all make this the most important part of our identity we can rest in the realization that we can live together in peace and love. One of the events in my life that actually initiated feelings of love and Oneness is this beautiful U2 song and I could not end this writing better then with a few little words from this wonderful song: We're one, but we're not the same, We get to,
Carry each other, Carry each other.

Namasté,

Marijn

Dear God,

I confess now that you have always been there
I was not able to see you even though you kept knocking my door
So busy with earthly nonsens and no eye for transcendence
All this time you kept knocking more and more

Now I feel that I can open up the door for You
Please come into my life now and knock on more
I know you are here and I only have to accept
That I am and You are and connectedness is the core

I was out there all the time while you were always there
So many faces, so many places, but only one Source
I do not know anything now that the door is open
No more understanding is possible now of this mysterious force

10.000 Miles I walked in darkness towards a dim future light
So many shivers and twists and all this misunderstanding
No more labels now and just an open flow of unknown beauty
With no ground under my feet now it is safe to be landing

Now I no longer know who or where You are
But peacefulness and transparency fill the spaces in between
My only longing now is to share and live this sacred Light
I confess now that I was blind but through a miracle have seen

Marijn

I have often wondered how I could contribute to the creation of a better world. Such a question has never been more vital in these often disturbing and chaotic times that we find ourselves in nowadays. On the other hand however this question is also just as hard to answer in a time where most people are so occupied with their self-interests. I often found myself speaking to a wall when trying to convince people that it is very possible to take a different approach toward reality. But seemingly different views on reality often differ so much (from a certain point of view) that it is often simply extremely hard or maybe even impossible to explain your point of view to others. Our world is a great mirror of this current misunderstanding. People from religions with another name fight eachother because they take the teachings literally. My studies of religions have finally taught me that every religion somehow represents the same truths in its own core. At the same time however every religion is always imbedded in a certain time and a certain place whereas the truths that are hidden in its core transcend time and space altogether. I believe that the truths that religions try to teach us are a reflection of natural law. A law that stands beyond space and time and is universal and eternal. Every teaching however will always be coloured by the one who teaches and it will be interpreted in a certain way by the one who is being taught. Being coloured here doesn't mean that the teaching has lost any of its lucidity, but rather that it has come in touch with the world of form. A world which is always preceded by consciousness, for it is consciousness which creates form. I believe that this is what Buddha tried to teach when he said that there is ultimately no person, there is nobody home. Therefore the teachings can flow through the this teacher in its purest form. That leaves us only with the point of interpretation of the one that is being taught. Also on this point I believe the Buddha had very valuable advice for us when he said that we should not believe anything he said, but that we should find out for ourselves. So where did we get the idea that anyone should be convinced or that we should reach agreement on certain points? I recently saw the great movie "One" (One the movie) in which a couple of guys pretty much out of the blue decide to search for oneness. What they find out quickly is that oneness is not about being the same. Rather it is about seeing oneness through the acceptance of the different faces of the many. This movie gave me the insight that our insight in the ultimate oneness of all of creation is the most valuable thing. If we can allow ourselves to keep this in mind in everything we do then we are truly able to become a channel for this Oneness that transcends all seeming differences.

Taking all of this to a personal level it means that we never have to convince anyone. That's a pretty strange idea in our western society. Most of us are very busy trying to convince people of the value of their insights and ideas. Our whole educational system is build around this concept of linear, direct transmission of rational knowledge. Our brains are so used to this kind of information that we can experience serious trouble trying to learn is other ways. It took me quite some time to make this switch and to understand that learning takes place in so many different ways that we often don't even see as opportunities in which we are learning. One of these areas that I believe to be very important nowadays are our interactions with the people that we meet and that we live with. Through our relationships we can learn incredibly much about ourselves because everyone functions as a mirror for our awareness. Therefore I believe that the challenge of our times is to allow ourselves to invest time in deep and valuable relationships. The effort this takes will provide us with invaluable lessons that will surely help us on our path. I am experiencing this myself in a love relationship in which my partner and I are invited to accept eachother fully in order to develop our true potential. Through such an enterprise we can get to know ourselves quickly in much dept. Often we can feel that we are one, while at the same time we are very different. Therefore I believe that we start at this point where we are still one with everything but we are not yet equipped to express this in relation to our environment. We are not yet able to interact with our environment because we are still immersed in it. I see this initial oneness when I look into a baby's eyes, but also when I visualize the beginning of the universe (science has discovered that all matter was once fully compressed and not larger than a pea!). Then evolution starts to occur and the One becomes the many. The universe comes into existence and on a personal level we become aware of our individuality and uniqueness. Then evolution continues and eveything returns to a state of Oneness. It is possible that we can imagine this on a personal level by transcending the differences and realizing that the many are nothing but aspects of the One that are as well completely in us as outside us. When we try to imagine this in terms of the universe it might seem hard to do. I would propose this means that the universe melts again with the observer of it and that time and space are transcended and seen as one of many possible perspectives in an ocean of consciousness.

To me this means that we can only try to be ourselves and be as compassionate, honest and peaceful as we can be. This way we can set everyone free to find Oneness inside themselves. If we can simply allow ourselves to speak our truth clearly and lovingly others will (or will not) understand that there is no reason to convince anyone, because there is only One. Having said all this I want to end with my christmas wishes to the whole of this community and to everyone on and beyond this earth. Since three is a very special number to me and we have all heard about the three wise man I wholeheartedly share the following three wishes with you:

1) To find Oneness in oneselve and to see this same potential in everyone.
2) To be and spread Love, Light and Peace to every corner of the universe.
3) To live in connection with, celebrate and praise the One that connects everyone and everything.

Love,
Marijn

What a confusing world do we find ourselves in when we are born on planet earth. I come into this life in 1980 in a little village in the Netherlands. Growing up there was fine and I would only get into conflict with the world and myself when I got to grade four of high school. Around the age of 15 there wants to develop a type of awareness that is conscious of the self and the world around it. When this development is somehow hindered there is usually a fight or flight reaction from the self being incapable of handling the situation. I think most people can recognize certain movements when looking back at their childhood. Once one departs on the journey of consciousness these moments will have to become clear again in order to understand what happened at that young age. I was already fifteen, but ofcourse some people go through disturbing or even traumatic experiences when are only a few years old. According to the outstanding work of Stanislav Grof such circumstances can even take place during the prenatal (between fertilization and childbirth) period of the being. I once heard someone say that birth is so much more of a shock for the soul than death. I had never really thought about this, but it immediately occured to me that this is a very reasonable idea. Ofcourse certain types of death are very unpleasant and painful, but I indeed believe that the transition will be much easier and lighter in general.

Looking back at this fight or flight moment that anyone encounters sooner or later it is clear that some kind of contraction will have to take place at that time. Looking at myself again I can clearly see now that I imploded in order not to show the pain that I experienced. And at that moment I could not have shown these things because I simply was not aware of what was happening. The contraction however would join me on my trip through life and influence practically everything that I would experience. This feeling of contraction triggered in me a very loud NO against authorities (parents, school, law and other institutions) and this resistance became a theme in the play that I was in. What is actually most confusing about such a mask is that there are always certain truths in it, whilst at the same time there is this very limiting contraction. Once we embark on the beautiful path of conscious evolution we will have to get clear about the light and the dark sides that are inside and outside of us. In order to gain this clarity I had to unravel the thruths and the lies that were both present in my former rejection of  most of the world. I believe that we can truly heal ourselves when we accept all the seemingly weird attitudes and opinions that we once cherished for our own safety and protection. Yogi Bhajan used to say "Love what is ahead by loving waht has come before". This may sound very simple but I still find myself struggling sometimes to truly embrace everything that I am in order to completely be in the here and now.

I believe it is only by this absolute and al-embracing acceptance that we can really start living in the here and now. Sometimes it can be really hard to accept ourselves fully and to just be with the feelings of love, connectedness, gratitude and wholeness that I believe are our absolute birthright. Someone once said that we have to reject the truth first before we can truly accept it. I don't even know whether this rings true for everyone, but I have certainly experienced it in this way. Furthermore I believe that a lot of people have this kind of experience and the wonderful thing about it is that we can really feel reborn once we leave our masks behind and embrace life in all its beauty and glory. I am thankful every now for being able to share what I feel and think in a conscious and loving way. Ofcourse sometimes it is still a struggle or even a fight, but the light is getting clearer and clearer. This week I overheard some people in the swimming pool talking about God, Jesus and faith and I joined their conversation. The amazing thing was that we could connect so easy and naturally that it felt as if we already knew eachother. I experienced that when we can speak from heart to heart there is an acceptance (and actually an embrace) of the other which makes it so natural and enlightening to communicate with eachother. I believe that certain experiences are very valuable and that they can truly change the way we behave and feel towards others. Since once I have thought the complete opposite I am deeply and completely convinced that this capacity for enlightened communication is lying dormant in each and every individual. And I believe that through these conversations (and all these inspiring writings here at Gaia and elsewhere) we can contribute to the development of this great potential that lies in every human being. I sincerely believe that we can create a conscious and enlightened future together in this way.

Peace, Light and Love to All!

Marijn

While working on my paper about human rights, globalization and global governance I realise deeply how relative everything is. In the current academic circles it is not always easy to introduce an evolutionaiy (and often revolutionary) vision upon the developments on our planet. All around me I see a lot of people doing a lot of good things in order to create and develop a beautiful future for humankind and Gaia. At the same time during college's I am almost overrun with all the problems that we face in the world today. And even though these "problems" are to some extent actually there I understand now that it is much more fruitfull to look at them from a different perspective. If we would change the word problem into challenge or opportunity we would have a far better point of departure towards the confrontation with these issues. If we can take in another perspective and look at these issues in another way everything can change. I know now that it is not easy to shift our view because we will also have to make a shift in the way we view ourselves. I believe this to be the biggest challange but at the same time the most precious key. We can truly change the world be changing ourselves and by putting the focus on our Self. A little more than one and a half year ago I went through this process and it truly did change everything. I hope and pray that everyone will come to the conclusion that being the change is truly the only way to real change.

What I am really busy with right now is translating this vision of a righteous, beautiful and sustainable future into everything that I do in the academic world. The idea of an academic world of course falsely suggests that this is some other kind of world. Even though it may sometimes feel like it this is clearly not the case. It is however a great challenge to translate as much as possible of my vision within the framework and boundaries of the academic world. Once I take a step back and look at science and religion (in the broadest sense including mysticism, spirituality and transcendence) it is fairly easy to see that the two are getting closer to eachother. People that are working on or beyond the leading edge of this development often know how to express this development in a clear way. Even though I can absolutely feel how right and meaningful their arguments are it is still different once I am myself confronted with a paper to be written. Right now I can feel the tension that is released because I don't really know how to share my views in such a way that they will be accepted within the academic environment that I find myself in.

To be at such a point is absolutely the biggest challange that is possible. Therefore this point is also a great opportunity to learn, grow and overcome old habits. Once I can look at it from this perspective I can see that a door is opening for me and that I am being invited to step through it into the unknown. When I can react to these challanges from the rest and inner conviction that are always somewhere inside me than I can enable myself to make a step in development. Even though it feels as if I am balancing on the tip of a rock, I am still aware that I can trust on the knowing inside of me.

Peace, Light and Love to All

Marijn

 

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
  George Orwell

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past;
he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.
Sydney J. Harris

Yesterday I was struck by these two great quotes. The first one told me something which I was already finding out and put in two simple sentences. The second one confronted me in one striking sentence with my own former worldview. This worldview was indeed one of resentment and often resulted in an almost paralyzed state of being in which I would see myself as a victim of something which I couldn't even name. Needless to say this made me little hopeful about the future. It actually forced me to flee from the inescapable future and lose myself in pointless behavior fueled by the little inspiring western consumer capitalist status quo. Now I can look and say that it is a good thing to be lost, it is great to be confused, because out of this seeming chaos something new will come into creation. Looking back at the future this pattern can be clearly spotted along the line of our cultural development. When the need was the highest and Europe was about to collapse the Renaissance arose out of the ashes just like a phoenix and Europe spread its wings to fly toward the Western Enlightenment. On a personal level my suffering taught me that I had to stop fighting against this invisible enemy and turn inwards to contemplate on my situation. Quickly I found out that we actually lived in a time in which we are very blessed bacause we have the opportunity to stand on the shoulders of so many giants that have come before us. I discovered then that it is possible after all to change the world around us if we first allow ourselves to heal our bodies and minds  and to reconnect with our hart, soul and the universal spirit that binds us all together. It became clear to me that we are all interconnected with eachother, with nature and even with the entire Universe. I experienced that we can create a peaceful, meaningful and righteous future by living in the here and now and being this change that we want to see. This is however an ongoing process and I often feel some tension when practicing this. Sometimes this tension resulted in a pressure that made it hard for me to truly live up to my highest truths. But through dedicated exercise and endless perseverance I have become convinced that this change is absolutely possible for anyone. It is even unavoidable because all around me I see the old world crumbling and I see it getting harder for people to hold on to it. This is a logical process ofcourse because ego-based consciousness will do anything to hold on to conservative structures. This is also very reasonable because these structures do seem very large and very real and have kept me in their grip for quite some time. But once we experience that our destination lies somewhere else we will do everything to reach this. And even though It is impossible to fully see this destination I can feel that I have arrived in a place where I wholeheartedly want to be even though I am constantly moving towards this next step in evolution. By holding this image clearly in my mind's eye I can see that the tension I experience is a positive evolutionary tension that makes me achieve the very best that is possible. Which makes me think about a quote from an enlightening spiritual leader, the fourteenth Dalai Lama; In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.

Now I want to get back to the future by taking a good look at the first quote that I used to start this writing with. This one teaches us that we can reclaim a positive outlook on our future by completely being in this moment and use all our abilities to control our past in a rational and meaningful way. Right now this is what I see happening all around me. Many inspiring people are actually re-writing our past so that we are able again to imagine, visualize and create a future in which we can live life in freedom, peace and connectedness. My experience is that once one starts to see these possibilities and one starts to participate, or co-create this future, the boundaries between past, present and future slowly fade and life is experienced much more fully in the here and now. At a certain point I realized how fruitful it is for us as a species to rewrite our history and heal the wounds in our collective consciousness. I am convinced that this will make it more and more easy for anyone to make this switch to a positive, veritable and fullfilling look at oneself, the world and all of life. To me it is truly miraculous that it is possible to have such a radically different perspective. Einstein once said: ""There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Let's make that obvious choice every day.

Peace, Light and Love to All

I am happy to be here. To be in this life, to breathe and feel alive. To be on the beautiful planet Gaia, our living and breathing mother. To be part of the amazing Kosmos of which we are all vital and meaningfull parts. To be in touch with spirit, the superconscious and all-embracing core of being. I am happy to be here on Gaia, this loving and enlightening community of heart minded brothers and sisters. I am happy to be.